Merry Christmas

'tis the season to be merry - or not

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?

At a Ho-ho-tel!

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?

"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

Why does Santa like to work in his garden?

Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What smells most in a chimney?

Santa's nose!

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus!

What does Santa like to have for breakfast?

Mistle-"toast"!

What's red & white and red & white and red & white?

Santa rolling down a hill!

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?

Looks like "rain", "Dear"!

Where does Father Christmas go to vote?

The North Poll!

What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?

Cinder Claus!

What goes oh, oh, oh?

Santa Claus walking backwards!

What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective?

Santa Clues!

Is this the Emperor's new clothes?

vis.ta [vis-tuh] – noun
1/a view or prospect, esp. one seen through a long, narrow avenue or passage, as between rows of trees or houses.
2/ a far-reaching mental view: vistas of the future.

The History
In 2001, Microsoft launched Windows XP, the long awaited amalgamation of their 2 previous operating system lines, the Windows 95/98/ME consumer range and Windows NT/2000 professional products. As early as the middle of 2002 Microsoft announced that the next version of Windows (working title – Longhorn) was scheduled for release in the middle of 2004.Over 2 years late and after an estimated investment of $10Bn the new version of Windows (Windows VistaTM) is with us. Corporate subscribers to Microsoft’s licensing program have been able to legitimately download Vista since November 30 2006; consumers are waiting a little longer, with Vista finally hitting the streets towards the end of January 2007.

So what’s different?
First off, and most importantly, Microsoft claims to have resolved the security flaws and risks which have haunted all previous Windows versions. This is partly due to better control over user accounts and partly due to extended security testing to ensure that bugs are fixed before launch, as opposed to being identified and fixed post launch.Also, in Windows some Vista editions, BitLocker has been introduced. This is a technology which automatically encrypts data stored on hard drives so if, for any reason the computer or hard drive is lost or stolen, the data cannot be accessed and consequently confidential information remains precisely that.

Graphically, Vista has an exciting new look and feel about it (called Windows Aero with Flip 3D). Semi transparent windows let the user see what is happening in other applications whilst the desktop uses a 3D representation of the applications that are opened, and you are able to move through these in this 3 dimensional world. It’s hard to visualise but looks great on the monitor.

Microsoft has enhanced the search utility, making it far easier and much faster to locate documents, images and other items.

Gone is the “Start” button, replaced by a great looking Vista icon, removing the strangeness that was having to press a “Start” button to end a computing session. Microsoft have also taken the opportunity to streamline the menu which appeared from the Start button, making it far more user friendly and intuitive.

Microsoft have also killed off the separate Windows editions, Tablet and Media Centre, these variations are now integrated within various Vista releases.

The options
When Windows XP was launched, there were just 2 versions, Home and Professional to choose from, right from launch Windows Vista has many more variants to choose from, depending on requirements, and (with the exception of Windows Vista Starter) each is available for both 32bit and 64bit platforms .


Windows Starter 2007 – this is targeted at developing markets, is a feature poor release and will only run 3 programs simultaneously. However, this keeps the price down and reduces the hardware specification required.

Windows Vista Home Basic and Home Basic N*
Core technologies include – Parental Controls, Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Defender (spyware and anti-virus) and Instant Search, Windows Media Player*

Windows Vista Business and Business N*
Core technologies include - Business back-up, Windows Aero, Small Business Resources, Windows Meeting Space, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology, Windows Fax and Scan, Windows Media Player*
Windows Vista Home Premium
Core technologies include - Parental controls, Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Media Centre, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology

Windows Vista Enterprise (limited availability)
Core technologies include - Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Tablet and Touch technology, BitLocker, Windows Ultimate Extras, Business Networking
Windows Vista Ultimate
Core technologies include - Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Media Centre, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology, Game Performance Tweaker, BitLocker, Business Networking, Business Back-up, Windows Meeting Space,

What do I need?
A visit to the Microsoft website will show that a surprisingly low specification is required to run Windows Vista.

Microsoft has two levels of Vista hardware certification in mind for new PCs, “Vista Capable” and “Premium Ready”.A “Vista Capable” PC will require at least a 800Mhz Intel or AMD processor (or similar), 512Mb ram, a DirectX 9.0 capable graphics card, a 40Gb hard drive (with at least 15Gb of free space), DVD drive, audio and internet capabilities. To be “Premium Ready” the PC must step up to a 1Ghz processor, 1Gb Ram and a graphics card with 128Mb Ram.

However, it has always been the case that this minimum requirement is well short of the actual specification for a PC which performs to expectations with many people in the industry advising that a doubling of the specifications should deliver a more enjoyable experience.

Conclusion
Windows Vista is an evolution of the existing products, offering improved security, better document management and a sleek user interface. Only time will tell whether it has the market presence to replicate the success of its predecessors and to recoup the huge investment made by Microsoft.

* “N” versions are releases brought about by the anti-competitive investigation by the EU and do not feature Windows Media Player and related technologies, allowing the user to choose their own media playing software. It is unlikely that there will ba any price differential for these versions.